Fox Baseball ads

The scene is a rehabilitation center somewhere, possibly in a hospital. A man with braces on both legs is attempting to walk again using his hands and bars to hold him up since his legs are clearly not strong enough to support him. A trainer is assisting the man, encouraging him to walk towards him.

Suddenly, the trainer turns away, his attention caught by something off camera. The man falls backward awkwardly but the trainer offers no assistance. Instead, the trainer is transfixed, staring offscreen. Finally, his lips move a little and we hear him say, “Giles always crushes that pitcher.” The fallen patient exclaims, “Can I get some help here?” but gets no help, only a finger advising him to wait.

From what the trainer says, you’ve figured out that this is a commercial for a baseball team. Absurd as it may be and as little as it may have to do with baseball, somebody has decided that this is the best way to get people to watch baseball on TV. That somebody is an executive at Fox television, the real power that rules baseball.

Through the magic of baseball’s Extra innings package, anyone can watch baseball games televised on the various regional Fox Sports networks around the country. You can watch almost every major league game on most nights. Besides the fact that the game of baseball is being played, there is another similarity to what each of these channels airs during the games: this same tv ad.

The only difference is a subtle dubbing of the line spoken by the trainer. In Pittsburgh, you hear “Giles always crushes that pitcher.” In San Francisco, “Giles” becomes “Bonds”. In Cincinnati, it’s “Griffey” who does the crushing. And so on, with each regional network dubbing their stars name into the line. That is the only change in the ad as it airs from New York to Los Angeles.

The obvious question this raises is not the important question. The obvious question is who in the world thought this was an effective commercial, that somehow a baseball game was so compelling that it causes people to completely lose track of their surroundings resulting in disastrous results. This isn’t the only ad that Fox runs in this manner. They have been doing it for over a year now and while there is a miniscule amount of humor buried in the commercial, what I take away from the ads are how stupid and pointless they are. There is no connection to baseball and nothing that makes someone want to attend or even watch a game. They are dumb and pointlessly stupid commercials.

But there is a bigger issue: who runs baseball and are they looking out for the welfare of the game and its franchises?

The Pirates are not one of baseball’s elite franchises. To be successful, they need everything to go right for them and they cannot afford to waste money. They have in the past and it has crippled them, on and off the field and they are still struggling to rebound. Their money management is so tight that any extra dollars spent promoting the team must be welcomed, perhaps to the point where they are not concerned about the long term effect these Fox ads are creating.

The best way to promote baseball, if you’re not Bill Veeck, is to promote the game. If you are able to sell fans on the game, you can be more confident that they will return year after year since the game stays the same year after year. The allure of PNC Park has already worn off. Pierogi races don’t draw fans. Fireworks can’t be shot off every gamenight. Bobbleheads come and go. Selling the game also leads to a deeper understanding of the game, an understanding that can find reason t support the local nine through dark times if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

A fan of the game comes to watch the players perform and even if the team is not good, there is something in every game that a fan can watch and admire and may not see again the entire season. A fan of fireworks comes to the game, doesn’t pay attention to the game, is more easily agitated when the team is losing and gets most excited after the home team has gone to the clubhouse.

However, despite its need to develop a strong fan base, Pirate marketing efforts have been laughable. Not since their “We Play Hardball” campaign of the late 80s have the marketing efforts focused on the game and the team. The success of the early 90s and the large crowds provided a perfect opportunity to grow new fans on the game, but little headway was made and as soon as the free agents left town and success faded, so too did the attendance. From the mid 90s on, marketing efforts were overshadowed by threats to move the team, its financial problems and the momentous battle to build PNC Park, none of which cast positive light on the Pirates. Recent years have featured PNC Park and giveaways as the central focus of advertising and marketing efforts.

Finally this season things seemed to be coming around for the Pirates. The team brought in several players that juiced the fans. Optimism was higher for the 2003 Pirates than at any point over the past 10 years. Marketing centered on the players and not promotions that have nothing to do with the game.

Yet here we are and while the Pirates have stumbled badly on the field so far, they have been worse off the field because of their inability to draw fans. Those who have come to PNC Park have been treated to lousy baseball and more losses for the home team than any other team in the majors. In this situation the Pirates wallow, trying to dig out of a seemingly deepening hole. There is no more effective marketing tool than a winning team, yet an effective strategy would be able to minimize the impact that losing has. But it hasn’t.

And worse, they allow Fox TV executives to effectively sabotage Pirate marketing efforts by airing these senseless ads. To fans, there is no differentiating between the Fox ads and the Bucs ads. They both sell the same product, just with different messages and imagery. Conflicting messages and imagery. The Pirates have allowed their marketing efforts to be derailed by Fox.

Then again, Fox delivers the TV money so the Pirates won’t complain about the erosion of goodwill and mindshare that a conflicting and diluted marketing message creates during such a critical time for the Pirates to capitalize on a strong, focused and game friendly message.

Fox clearly doesn’t care about the individual markets and by not objecting to the TV execs, it seems that the Pirates don’t care about the long term in their current market either. So why should I?

C'est La Vie 66?

The greatest hockey player ever and the best athlete I have ever seen likely played his last game for the Penguins last night. What Mario Lemieux has done on and off the ice for the Penguins and the city of Pittsburgh is uncomparable and too lenghty too list here. But if it's true that he will retire, it's nice that he got an assist on the game winning goal on his last shift on the ice. It is a nice bookend to getting a goal on his first ever shift in the NHL when he stripped Ray Bourque and beat goaltender Pete Peeters on a breakaway. Thanks for it all Big Guy!!

Opening Day 2003

4:11 Strike one to Kenny Lofton

4:12 Reds announcers (ol ESPN stalwart George Grande & either Chris Welsh) mention how the Bucs were a different team this Spring after Lofton signed. Lofton grounds out 3-1.

4:13 Kendall looks like vintage Kendall…of the past two years…weak 6-3 grounder

Great American looks nice with deep grass like PNC. Gile pops up on the first pitch. Disappointing top of the first, Haynes couldn’t have done it any better, only Lofton made him work a bit.

Happened to catch some of the Mets/Cubs game earlier. Roger Cedeno is as bad in CF as anyone I’ve ever seen and Floyd and Burnitz will not run down any balls to help him out. 15-2 Cubs the last I saw, its great to hear the NY fans booing on Opening Day. Not quite as bad as the 95 opener in Pittsburgh after the strike when fans pelted the field with plastic flags towards the end of a typically minor league performance by the Bucs.

4:17 Benson gets Larkin to fly out to Reggie Sanders in right for the first out of the season.

4:20 Griffey gets the first hit of the season and the first hit ever in the new Reds park. It’s a double and though healthy, he runs easily but not quickly, does he fear the hammy?

4:25 Whoa ARam!! Ugly swing looked like he was swinging under water. K.

4:26 Simon Strikes!! Double up the alley…Whoa! Barely makes it into second sliding. Big guy Simon is.

4:29 Sanders go boom!!!!!!!!!!! Deep drive to left center on a 3-2 low fastball. 2-0 Bucs. Former Red Sanders gets the first HR in the new park.

The Reds ruined the Bucs opening of PNC Park, it would be nice to see the Bucs return the favor.

Pokey singles – run pokey run!!

Why are the Reds favorites to do anything this year? Jimmy Haynes as Opening Day starter is almost as bad as Ron Villone lat year. OK, Haynes won 15 last year, but he is not an anchor of a playoff team.

4:37 Lofton goes deep in the second. It’s now 5-0 and the Cincy fans are trying to coerce the fan who caught Lofton’s ball to throw it back on the field. Sorry, Great American Park isn’t Wrigley.

4:40 OK, thanks to the combination of bad pitching by Haynes and a park as big as Kate Moss's chest, both Lofton and Jason Kendall have hit HRs. Lofton didn’t think his was gone and Kendall’s was to the opposite field. I don’t know how that happened, he doesn’t have that much power and didn’t do that at all last year. This park is going to give up lots of HRs if this is any indication. It’s not even warm yet.

Frustrated fans on Opening Day ar great huh? All the optimism of Spring has transformed into an ugly mob scene, not earlier in New York but also now in Cincy. Fans forced another fan to throw Kendall’s homerun ball back onto the field. If he hadn’t, the fans would have taken his head off.

4:58 Thank goodness that mess in New York ended. ESPN has now switched over to the Pirates/Reds and they have the wonderful Jon Miller and Joe Morgan doing the game. Grande and pal weren’t bad, but this is ESPN’s #1 team and they may not do another Pirate game all year. Jon Miller ranks only behind Vin Scully as a baseball announcer.

5:00 uh-oh, maybe I should switch back to the Reds broadcast. The pitcher Haynes is still in the game and he just laced a one out double off the wall in left in the 3rd. I’m not going to take many chances with this.

5:02 Benson walks Larkin. I don’t like ESPN at the moment. Boone hits a weak bouncer to Pokey who tries to swipe tag Larkin running by and then throw to first, but he can’t control the ball and everyone is safe. Griffey is up with the bases loaded and I’m back watching the Reds feed.

5:06 Benson K’s Griffey with high heat. I love the Reds feed. Two outs. Kearns up.

Bud Selig has stopped by the Reds booth this inning. Who thought making him commissioner was a good idea? He is so bland and unexciting and doesn’t say anything beyond the simple answer to the announcer’s questions…Kearns walks in the Reds first run…thereby making the answer to the trivia question “Who drove in the Reds first run at Great American Park?” as boring as the commissioner.

Oh no, Selig is talking about Pete Rose and he basically avoids all questions. He claims he cant say too much about the case, which I’m not sure why, this isn’t a court case, it’s his decision to make and he can talk all he wants about it. Yet Selig remains ever the lawyer, even though he’s also a used car salesman, and clams up. Welsh says Selig has guts to enter the heat of the argument by coming to Cincy, but this is your basic ass-kissing. There is no threat to Selig, he won’t say anything to get anyone angry.

Let’s see how ESPN affects the Bucs hitters in the top of the fourth.

5:25 Miller and Morgan have coaxed the Bucs to two men on with two outs, Kendall up and Giles on deck. Haynes is tottering on coming out but he gets Kendall to ground out and end the threat.

5:35 Johnny Bench enters the booth. Someday I’ll compile my all time team of players I saw and even though Bench was past his prime by the late 70s, he’d have a starting spot on it. However, they aren’t talking about the game. I suppose its Opening Day so everything is ceremonial so the broadcast is trying to keep in the mood, but the game has become an afterthought and the Bucs have two men on and nobody out.

Which sport has the best playoffs?

The other day, on ESPN.com’s Page 2, Eric Neel wrote a timely piece questioning which sport has the best playoffs. With the NCAA tourney in full swing toward New Orleans, the NHL and NBA regular seasons wrapping up, the NFL thinking of expanding the number of teams in their playoffs, and all baseball fans dreaming of their team in the postseason, now is certainly a convenient time to examine the relative merits of each sport’s postseason tournament. Neel’s argument had flaws and failed to analyze several of the key factors that make playoffs great. I have taken it upon myself to correct his oversight and once and for all, decide which sport truly does have the best playoffs.

Let’s start with the combatants. The big 6. No need to go further. A brief rundown:
MLB: 8 teams out of 30, 3 rounds w/ no byes (1 best of 5, 2 best of 7), prize is ring & $$
NFL: 12 out of 32, 3 rounds w/ 4 byes, one game only, prize is ring
NBA: 16 out of 29, 4 rounds no byes (1 best of 5, 3 best of 7), prize is ring & $$
NHL: 16 out of 30, 4 rounds no byes (all best of 7), prize is the Cup
NCAA hoops: 65 out of 200+, 6 rounds no byes, one game only, prize is the hat & shirt
NCAA football: 2 out of 150+, one game winner take all, prize is the hat & shirt

For the analysis, we’ll rely on the standard 4 factors essential to any great sporting event:
-Viagra factor – which playoff makes it easiest to stay up all night long if necessary?
-The yellow brick road has potholes factor – which playoff is fairest to the best teams in the regular season yet has genuine surprises every year.
-Dementia factor – which playoff creates players, moments and/or teams that you’ll still talk about after you’ve forgotten everything else in your life
-Bandwagon factor – which playoff is best to watch if your team isn’t in it or loses early.

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
Viagra Factor: We all know baseball players love Viagra, Rafael Palmeiro tells us that nearly every day, but the game itself is in dire need of the little blue pill. Playoff & World Series games start so late you can’t stay up past the fifth inning even if you really want to, Thunderstix and rally monkeys be damned. Tension mounts throughout a baseball game like in no other sport, but somehow the only things that mount in playoff baseball are my eyelids over my eyeballs.

The yellow brick road has potholes factor: Again, baseball players like to follow nicely laid out routes, why else paint baselines around the diamond, as if the bases actually might move and runners may not know where to find them. In the playoffs though, mighty regular season teams routinely go down to lesser teams who are simply better built for short series. The baseball regular season remains the fairest test in all sports, unwinding like a long slow summer drink. The postseason is a shot of whiskey, a shock to the baseball system. Teams often have trouble making the transition and succumb to lesser teams, especially in the best of 5 first round, but in general, the baseball playoffs strike a good balance between the boredom of form holding and the excitement of upsets, I mean Anaheim vs San Francisco?

Dementia factor: I swear the last thing I’ll remember before I go is that my school scheduled an open house that I had to attend with my parents the very same night as game 7 of the 79 World Series. Through constant complaining and threatened school strikes, somehow the crisis was avoided I made it back in time for the game. Now imagine if I had witnessed Mazeroski, Gibson, Joe Carter, Reggie hit 3 in a row, Bobby Thomson, Carlton Fisk, the list goes on. If you can stay awake, baseball will usually make it worth your while.

Bandwagon factor: I’ve had tickets to World Series games and not gone because my team lost and didn’t make it. Several years, I haven’t even watched it on TV. With rich teams doing most of the winning and players less connected to reality then ever, baseball rates very low on the bandwagon scale.

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE
Viagra Factor: Football does it right. No late nights, afternoons mostly. Even their recent move to evening playoff games doesn’t leave us comatose on the couch by the 4th quarter. Even if a game went past midnight, fans would have no problem staying alert. Watching playoff football requires such adrenaline and emotional investment, you actually need time after the game to cool down before you can sleep.

The yellow brick road has potholes factor: Upsets happen in the playoffs, but with byes and strong homefield advantages, the table is decidedly tilted in the favor of the better teams. A wild card team that has to play three games all on the road is at a huge disadvantage to a bye team that gets to play all its games at home. Still, the emotion of football and the one and done format allow for upsets and surprises do happen. Of all the sports, a playoff game is played most like a regular season game in the NFL. But build in the advantages better teams have and form generally holds. Upsets happen, but they are always a shock and too few and far between.

Dementia factor: Oh yeah, the NFL will stick with you. It’s not as individual a sport as baseball so instead of remembering game ending homeruns we recall last minute drives or dominating defenses. In fact, you don’t even have to watch the game live. By the time you’ve watched the nonstop NFL Films highlights of the game for the hundredth time, you’ll swear you were at the game and sat next to a player’s wife while wearing a cheesehead. You’ll definitely remember the 69 Jets, the Purple People Eaters, the Steel Curtain, da Bears, and the Niners either in your dreams or your nightmares.

Bandwagon factor: There’s nothing quite like bandwagon jumping in football and there is one reason for it: gambling baby!! Put money on the game and soon you’ll be no better than Pavlov’s dog: every incompletion or missed tackle results in you screaming at the tv at the top of your lungs, every first down or defensive stop somehow gets you off the barcalounger to deliver your signature fist pump and for another beer. Does anything compare?

NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION
Viagra Factor: No way. You’re staying up to watch Shaq back into Vladi all night? Teams shooing around 40% from the field doesn’t put you to sleep? It’s too bad the only part of the game worth watching comes after everyone is asleep. And somehow the constant arena rattling music soothes me to sleep, instead of alerting me to the ball crossing halfcourt.

The yellow brick road has potholes factor: For now, you still have best of 5 in the first round so upsets can happen, but those teams don’t make it all the way. For top seeds, the yellow playoff road truly is golden. For 6-8 seeds, hope for an upset in the first round and go home. This year’s final will be either: LA, Sacramento, Dallas, and perhaps San Antonio against either NJ, Philly or maybe Detroit or Indianapolis. Write it down. All the other playoff teams can forget it.

Dementia factor: Larry vs Magic is perhaps the greatest individual rivalry of all time, Jordan was unforgettable, and I’ll remember the Sixers of Dr. J, Moses Malone, Mo Cheeks, Andrew Toney and Bobby Jones for a long time. But the real Answer is that nothing in today’s NBA is as indelible as it was 10+ years ago and those memories are already faded.

Bandwagon factor: If only because dynasties create intense hatred among fans of other teams, and the NBA is one of the last bastions for dynastic sports reign, bandwagon jumping is pretty easy in the NBA. Somehow, the NBA is like the city of Atlanta. People move in when there is opportunity, move out once its exhausted. No roots are grown so changing habits becomes easy. It begets the worst sports city in the country and mirrors the ability of NBA fans to move allegiances from one team to whoever is playing the Lakers at that moment.

NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE
Viagra Factor: Regular season hockey may present a boring procession up and down the ice, but somehow the playoffs transform every rush into an edge of the seat opportunity to take your team all the way to the Cup. NHL playoff games actually DO go all night but there is little temptation to turn it off. The best overtime system is a little like the universe, it’s a little too big for the normal brain to comprehend. The OT will end suddenly no matter what, but it could end after one minute or it could, and this is where the mind struggles, go forever. Players keel over from exhaustion, struggle to skate from one end of the ice to the other, can’t lift their sticks and still they play on. How long can they actually play? Will players stop trying as hard? Once you get to about the 3rd OT, the mind starts racing with the possibilities.

The yellow brick road has potholes factor: Oh you better believe it. From Steve Smith derailing his own team to David Volek trashing a dynasty to Dominik Hasek, favorites lose more in these playoffs than any other. A hot goalie is the single most decisive factor in all of playoff sports and that can cause many a breakdown on a elite’s teams road to the Cup.

Dementia factor: There are classic Stanley Cup moments like Orr’s flying through the air and the rookie Roy in ’86, but we are generally left with images of the teams, from the Broadstreet Bullies to the Edmonton Oilers and of course the flying Canadiens. Somehow these images are dim in comparison to the media lights that shine on individual achievements in other sports. Yet the NHL has indelible memories that become scarred on your brain unlike any other sport. The simple reason is because the NHL has the Stanley Cup and no other sport does. The desperate rush for the Cup is so scintillating because the real prize is the Cup and not money or a ring. And winning the Cup lets you bring it home to the people to celebrate over. The Cup becomes personal, a holy grail traveling around the area over the summer that you are in constant search of. Rumors say it was there, that it will be here, yet the Cup remains a mystery. Until one night, after you had finally concluded all those stories were just made up, in a bar at closing time with 10 people littered around the room, you run smack dab into it, and you slurp beer deliriously from it over and over, lining up time after time for just one more taste, drunk off a few gulps of beer and from adding your own chapter to the Cup’s colorful legacy.

Bandwagon factor: Being a game of high emotion and low betting, hockey doesn’t lend itself well to jumping off and on. In general, bandwagon jumping is a bad thing. But for a playoff to be truly great, you must be able to sit and enjoy their glory without the incentive of rooting for your team. Eventually even, you might start to root a bit for one team. The sport whose fans are able to sustain their passion for its playoffs after emotions have ebbed after an elimination or a loss, is special. But hockey just doesn’t do it.

NCAA BASKETBALL
Viagra Factor: What could be better than staying up late to catch #15 Cal Poly Obispo pull off that first round stunner from out in Corvallis? The satisfaction you get from staying up for the whole game and seeing the upset is so great, it’s worth staying up those nights when nothing so spectacular is possible. But whrn it does, you can walk into the office the next morning and since the games ended too late for the morning paper and nobody’s been online yet, you can tell the tale of the Latest Great NCAA Upset! That nobody else saw the night before.

The yellow brick road has potholes factor: Cinderella was a low seed on a tear in the NCAAs. They wrote a story afterwards to capitalize on the term through endless marketing initiatives such as a cartoon, movie, dolls, even a fairy tale. But they didn’t fool anyone, the real Cinderella was Austin Peay. Or was it Gonzaga? Coppin State? This tournament is special exactly because of its unpredictability and while the one and out setup may wipe out some favorites too quickly, nobody can argue about the winner not deserving the title.

Dementia factor: Nothing from any other playoffs burn as brightly in our minds as those from the NCAA tourney do. Every year there are enough wonderful moments to fill a montage to that One Shining Moment song. The NCAAs leave you with a uniquely unforgettable event each year. No other sport does.

Bandwagon factor: Once there was a time when there were no brackets. In those days, bandwagons moved quickly, traveled in the dark and stopped very rarely. It was hard to find one, let alone a stopped one you could jump on. Then Samuel Bracket published his soon to be eponymous newsletter and the bandwagon brigade slowed. Slowed enough to let people find it and jump on. Brackets became a latter day gambling, shedding light and interest on those mysterious teams from Louisiana and Idaho. With the attention came crowds and the bandwagons had to slow to pass through the crowd and everyone could jump right on.

NCAA FOOTBALL
Wait, they don’t have playoffs. They have a bunch of old guys sitting on their couches voting for teams they see one time on tv and then deciding which two teams can play in the Tostito’s Sunny Delight Orange Julius Cotton Knit Rose Colored Sugar Bowl only to be used for Great Big Fiestas Bowl game for a title.

Isn’t it obvious? It’s the NCAAs baby!! The Grandaddy of Tourneys!! The Big 6-4!! Coach K and The General baaaaby!!! The Road to the Final Four tops them all. Hockey isn’t far behind and the NFL gives you the real deal like no other, but the NCAAs beat them. Baseball tops only the NBA anymore. How can the NCAA run the gamut from both the best playoff structure in basketball to the worst for football? Do these groups talk to each other? Get in the classroom, football, and all pro sports as well, and learn from the NCAA.

SportsFan Magazine is a good site, updated frequently with smart opinionated writers. It's a little too DC-centered sometimes (and there's not much to rant about in DC sports these days), but they do get you thinking.

24 is the best show on television, but I'm not sure how much I'll enjoy tonight's episode, it's the first new episode since war broke out. There are just too many similarities between the show on Fox and the show all the networks are putting on from Iraq. CTU, interrogations, fratricide it's all too familiar and real life always makes for a better story than fiction, even Fox Fiction. Watching 60 Minutes last night, they profiled New York's counter-intelligence unit and it looked an awful lot like Jack Bauer's CTU in LA. Unfortunately, Jack's heroism in LA pales in comparison to the realities of war.

Pitt is in the Sweet 16 for the second straight year. Pitt is very experienced led by seniors, including a senior point guard, and juniors, are an incredibly tough defensive team, and can rely on many options on the offensive end. All of these ingredients are typically found in national champions. Yet when teams are mentioned as favorites for the crown, such as Kentucky, Pitt is often left out of the discussion. This despite Pitt playing as tough defensively as ANY team including Kentucky and having as much balance and leadership as ANY team, Kentucky included. Don't overlook the Panthers being able to get by Marquette and Kentucky and getting on down to New Orleans. Then again, maybe restraint is justified as many Pitt fans remember the last time the Panthers threatened as they do this year and what happened, as my friend at K&S in Atlanta sure does (the law firm friend quoted in the article is the same guy whose bachelor party we just went to Vegas for): Pitt, Goheen and Vandy.

Well, I'm back from Vegas, have been for a while, but I have finally come down from the Vegas high and am able to get back to writing. I won't say much about the trip, I've already told you what would happen below, except to ask if Vegas ever disappoints? Vegas means different things to different people - I mean there were families and kids parading through the casinos and throngs of dressed up folks descending on Mama Mia at showtime and guys out playing golf all day and I'm sure everyone had a great time. You could show up for a weekend, have one nice day and two crappy ones, throw down and lose $1,000 at the tables, lose more at the sports book as a result of winning one bet the entire weekend, get ripped off at a very nice restaurant, wake up every day after 3 hours of sleep completely hungover, watch those dastardly automatic dealing machines crank out 5 after freakin 5 every time the dealer has 16 and you're standing on 20, get and split four aces leading to two blackjacks and still lose the hand, get charged for 8 songs when you thought you were only paying for 4, watch Southern Illinois storm back from 22 down vs UAB to take the lead and make you a winner in the sports book only to watch them blow it in the last minute...all of that could happen and you'll still find yourself at the airport late on Sunday night smiling and planning your victorious return.

Before I leave for Vegas, I want to put in my two cents about yesterday’s trading deadline and what the Penguins were able to do. As far as I’m concerned it was a banner day for the Pens and Craig Patrick. I understand they are rebuilding, I already knew that, I didn’t need these trades to tell me that as some are suggesting.

Getting rid of Wayne Primeau (a wonderful puck dumper who hits the net only when he skates into it), Ian Moran (vocally talented, maybe the best singer in the NHL, who has a canny ability of being able to ice the puck from anywhere at anytime), Shean Donovan (as fast as Speedy Gonzalez on skates but knows even less than Speedy about how to play hockey), Mark Bergevin (solid defenseman who shows every sign of being 67 years old) and Jan Hrdina (a dimly talented player who has a proven ability to do nothing while waiting for something to happen to him) is a classic case of addition by subtraction. Losing these players is akin to a person losing a hair off their head. Put it simply, these guys contributed close to nothing and took ice time away from players who need ice time to develop their games. Players like Kris Beech, Michael Sivek, Milan Kraft, Brooks Orpik and others should now have a chance to develop their games with substantial ice time at the highest level. The benefits of which will become apparent after a short time – or at the least, we will quickly find out if these players will sink or swim. Throw in Ramzi Abid, a potential 30 goal scorer who came over in the trade for Hrdina, and the stable of young horses looks full. Also, they will add a top 5 draft pick from a strong draft to their lineup next year. That lineup will get much younger next year, maybe a bit quicker and at least should easily refill the thimble of talent that was traded away yesterday.

Of course, all of this is peanuts compared to the big question of whether 66 will return. These youngsters alone will struggle without Lemieux. But pair them alongside 66 and all of a sudden the roster, including Straka and the returning from injury Morozov and Melichar, looks promising and poised to play an aggressive style of play that the Pens have been unable to do this year. For the sole reason that there will be so many young players in the lineup next year, expect Lemieux to return and do as much as he can to teach and mentor these players. Even if they don’t become a playoff team, the challenge of imparting his knowledge and leadership on formative young players in an environment where that is encouraged is something Lemieux has never faced, yet is something I think he will embrace and look forward to with enthusiasm. I fully expect to see 66 skating on the ice again next year. With Abid and Morozov as his wingers.

It’s time. Tomorrow is the day. I have that antsy, excited feeling that can only mean one thing…Vegas Baby!!! How can anything compare with Vegas?? Where the possibilities are endless but the money isn’t. My goal for the trip: break even at the tables and make money in the sports books. I haven’t achieved either in my previous visits, thanks mainly to my lack of blackjack skill and some late inning runs in a meaningless Sunday night baseball game. Not really sure why this trip will be different, in fact, it wont be, I can almost guarantee it. I already know what’s going to happen:

Arrive Thursday evening: Flush with the energy that you only get from seeing slots in the airport and the marvelous strip, I step up to the tables and proceed to lose $100 in a half hour. I only get one free scotch before my Vegas high wears off and my friends are paying for g&t’s and blaming their losses on the evil dealer or the rookie player sitting next door who kept taking all the cards they wanted (me? I just didn’t get into a groove since I was flying solo at my table without any support. BTW, what’s better than you and 5 of your friends taking over a table in Vegas and running it for an hour? It could only be topped if Jack Bauer joined the group and started telling old CTU stories).

Wonderful thing those g&t’s – they put my balls back squarely in place and me back at the tables. Where I proceed to last longer but lose another $100. And that’s it, down 2 bills for the night so I watch a bit, knowing my luck will turn tomorrow.

Friday: kick back at the Mandalay wave pool til 1 or 2 then experience one of the true vegas treasures – the all you can eat buffet. But all you can eat can take a while so the casinos have found a way so you can keep gambling while eating – keno !! So I lose 15 games of keno while downing more than I thought possible in only three trips to the buffet. Next come the tables, except I’m looking for some laid back betting so I head over to Treasure Island. Vegas can’t wipe you out all at once, they need to drag it out so eventually you wind up losing more money than you would normally conceive of in a weekend. So I walk out of Treasure Island up for the day, still down overall.

I’m not sure what to compare the feeling of walking out of a dark casino without clocks after downing 5 g&t’s in a winning effort into the bright Nevada sun in the middle of the day and walking down the strip, but surreal seems like the appropriate word. It’s one of those moments you cant experience anywhere else, not even the mix of voodoo hexes, beads, hurricanes and passing out as the sun rises in New Orleans compares.

At dinner Saturday, I’ll blow lots of perfectly good cash on food that could have been spent building on my winning streak and amassing my small fortune. And even more after dinner…

Wait, I forgot about Friday night and Saturday? See what Vegas does to you? Just go back to Friday and repeat.

Sunday: The longest day. There should be a limit to how long you can stay in Vegas and this is about it. I’m on the red eye so I have all day to blow any winnings I may have. At some point today, I’ll finally realize that I’m not going to win at the tables and will find myself a comfy chair in the sports book. Bellagio is the best I’ve seen so far, but I have many more to see. What beats the sports book? If I go to heaven, please let the chairs be comfy, the screens big and the drinks free and cold. The only problem with Vegas is that it’s out West, meaning that by 4pm Sunday; all games will be over, except one or two hockey games. And that’s the problem because I still have 7 hours to kill before my flight. Hmmm, how to kill the time?? How about a parlay taking the over for Edmonton/Calgary and the Coyotes to win? Next thing you know, Jerome Iginla is a bum because he missed a breakaway and I’m ready to throw something at the Phoenix goalie for letting in a cheapie. Is it any wonder I lose and leave Vegas down big?

They really do have a great racket going with the airlines. You can’t get a decent flight back east from there. Every flight is a red eye, giving the casinos plenty of time to milk your tired, hungover, suddenly obese body and ever thinning wallet out of every last nickel you have. I can’t be expected to think clearly at this point, I’m a beaten man and they know that because they beat me. And they sit there and planned it all this way. Believe me, they know what they’re doing. And the crazy thing is, I’ll blame it on my lack of focus from playing cards too much, not on their scheming and I’ll be damn happy about coming back again, if only I can stop myself from letting them get me that last day, I’ll come out on top. And they’ll have me and it beats everything else. Vegas baby!

Ok, so what am I going to do here? I'm going to do what I normally do, thus most of what I write here will be focused on sports, Pittsburgh sports mostly, with a little of the numbing real life stuff thrown in if it's appropriate, like this dead-on site about France's demise to irrelevance. If the serious stuff starts to bring this site down, I'll move it somewhere else, because we all know that sports is the essence of life! So, on to the topics...

I think we live in an increasingly numbing world. When "Breaking News" becomes a story about dogs trapped on ice or about a government flunkie speaking at The Conference for General Pipe and Tube Fitters, we become numbed to the rest and in dire need of someone waking us out of our daily habits with fresh insight or of something giving us enjoyable diversions. Whatever it may be, we may tend to ignore it unless it comes blaring at us, screaming "Ohhhh, Great Balls of Fire!!!"