Inept Times

Most days go by like any other, without something that makes you shake your head or without something completely confounding. Then there is a day like Saturday, when I was left utterly dumbfounded by the news that the Steelers signed punter Chris Gardocki to replace Josh Miller. I've now had a couple days to figure this out and still haven't been able to come up with a reason for this. Now I know that cap hit and the Steelers will take won't be too much more than if they had stuck with Miller, but why are they taking time and any money at all to sign a punter when they have so many more important needs?!?! Why not take the extra money and make a real run at a good CB! Or put it into the offer for Marcus Washington who turned them down to go to the Redskins.
I just don't understand and doubt I ever will.

It seems the Pittsburgh pro sports teams are staging some kind of intramural competition for ineptness. And I'm not sure who's winning at this point, they all seem to equally inept. With the Bucs and Pens already plumbing the depths of futility, are the Steelers not far behind? Moves like the signing of Gardocki make me think they soon will be. Let's take a look at the early nominees in the various categories of this sad sack intramural competition:

Worst personnel decision, Pittsburgh sports team, professional
1. Pirates GM Dave Littlefield decides to leave 3 spots open on his 40 man roster instead of protecting 3 young players from other teams. 4 of the first 5 picks in the Rule V draft are Pirates and as of March 8, the Pirates still only have 39 men on their 40 man roster.
2. The Steelers sign Chris Gardocki to replace Josh Miller as punter. Miller is younger, has better overall numbers and is cheaper than Gardocki, yet the Steelers choose to sign Gardocki.
3. Veteran Kelly Buchberger and youngster Matt Bradley make the Penguins roster on Opening Day and never leave despite the fact that Bradley is the only Pen to play every game and scores a whopping 11 points, a feat that is only topped by Buchberger not registering a single point in his 58 games. GM Craig Patrick continues to keep these two on a rebuilding team while sending more promising players in need of ice time back to the minors.

Worst individual performance, professional athlete, season
1. Kelly Buchberger, see above
2. Jason Gildon, on the verge of breaking the Steelers all time sack record at the start of the 2003 season, must wait until midway through the season to break LC Greenwood's record, prompting Greenwood to say, "He hasn't broken it yet? I thought he would have broken it a while ago."
3. Brian Boehringer, Scott Sauerbeck and Joe Beimel are nominated to share the award for their collective ability to torch any Pirate hopes of winning any game in which they appear in 2003.

Worst individual performance, amateur athlete, season,
1. Claude Harriott, a preseason All-American, disappears for the entire 2003 season, allowing opponents to pass, throw and do whatever else they wish against an incredibly bad Pitt defense, leaving the Panthers a disappointing 7-5 on the season.
2. Julius Page. Tough to nominate him since the Pitt hoops team is having a great year and Page may be the best defensive guard in the country. But, for a team desperate for an outside shooter and for a senior who was supposed to supply that threat, have you ever seen anyone look so shaky shooting the ball? Page throws up more airballs than anyone else I've ever seen and at this point in the season, lacks any confidence to hit an outside shot. It hasn't affected his defense, but even layups have become trouble for Page.
3. Torree Morris. Another nominee from the Pitt hoops team, which is surprising, but someone this big should be able to go up a lot stronger than Morris. At least Jamie Dixon is smart enough to not play him anymore except to give a few fouls when needed.

Worst individual performance, professional athlete, single game
1. Aramis Ramirez, 4/17/03 or any other game until July 22 when he was traded to the Cubs. On April 17 vs The Mets, ARam went 0-4 with an error on a bobbled ground ball, contributing to the Bucs 7-2 loss.
2. Dwayne Washington, 11/2/03, manages to make 2 solo tackles, but misses 5 times that many including a crucial miss on WR Darrell Jackson that led to the Seahawks winning TD in a 23-16 game. Washington is benched for the rest of the season following the game.
3. Jason Gildon,9/28/03, manages one tackle, a sack no less, but is otherwise invisible against Tennessee in a 30-13 drubbing of the Steelers.
4. Penguins team, 1/16/04, holds a 2-0 lead going into the third period but allows 4 third period goals to the Wild to lose 4-2. Marc-Andre Fleury, in his first action since returning from the World Juniors where he gave up 3 third period goals to the US Team to blow a lead and the gold medal, is in the nets for another third period collapse.

Nominees for the following categories will be announced later.....:
-Best individual Performance, professional athlete, single game
-Best individual performance, professional athlete, season
-Worst Coaching/Managerial Decision, professional
-and a few more to come...